We are now about two and a half weeks into this process, if you can count the first read through as the beginning of the "process." For me, the process of working on this show really began last summer when I first read the play. It has been kicking around in my brain, inspiring me and haunting me ever since. I worked on the grant proposal for the show so I spent a lot of time with the script thinking about how to describe it, what we hoped to achieve in our production, etc. Once I was cast in the show last fall my mind went into overdrive, so it is really exciting to be in the trenches working on it now after so much anticipation.

As many probably already know, Sarah Kane did not assign lines to certain characters, or even delineate how many characters or performers should be in the show. Grace decided on three characters which she calls A,B, and C. We met a few times before our official "first read" to try out different ways of interpreting the play, deciding who says what. I will leave it to Grace to explain her concept of the show as I don't want to paraphrase her, but suffice it to say that the three of us play three different aspects or sides of one mind. It sounds like a heady concept, but it makes total emotional and intellectual sense in context.

I play B. My role is in many ways the protective, caretaking one; the voice advocating for treatment or "health." We've done a lot of Viewpoints and other physically based exercises these first couple of weeks to find the connections between these three characters. It has been exhausting and exhilarating and revelatory to find out who these people are and where they connect and where they are at odds, where they try to connect but can't, etc. Also a great way to familiarize myself with by wonderful fellow actors and reconnect with Grace as a director.

I think the thing that I have been most surprised by is how tightly written and beautifully assembled the play is. My first reaction to it was "wow," and do I understand this, and why does this odd scene follow that one? But once I've been in it, I keep being struck by how particular and deliberate Kane was. Nothing in this play is accidental, one scene leads directly into and informs the next. People have sometime questioned whether this work is actually a "play" or not. It most definitely is, as while it contains many beautiful poetic passages it needs full theatrical realization to be fully appreciated or understood. I feel as if I am just beginning to fully "get" it and I've been living with it for many months. The challenge is how to give the audience a point of entry into this material with our production, and I think we are well on our way.

On another note, after more than two weeks of just Christy, Joel, Grace and I and rehearsing alone, we had a run-through for our design team on Tuesday night. The purpose of it was merely to show the designers the general shape of the show so they can see what they need to light, what the set, costumes and sound need to do, etc. They are always a bit nerve wracking, as they are early in the process and you're never ready to "perform" the show. This one was just plain terrifying and thrilling to tell the truth. The experience of showing this material to people for the first time was one I will never forget. This is truly an Experience and not just another show for me. It made me again appreciate how fortunate I am to be working on this amazing material with a cast, director and design team who are all so gifted and are digging deep within themselves to bring this beautiful, heartbreaking story to life. It also made me realize that there is much work yet to be done.......

defunkt but not defunct. Or as Mark Twain said (sort of) reports of our death have been greatly exaggerated. While the 2008-09 season saw the departure of three of our company members, the remaining three have torn a book from the company's own history and committed to continuing the defunktional experience and providing Portland with first class, genre defying theatre you won't see anywhere else. We hope you will join us as we enter our 10th anniversary season*, welcoming new company members, celebrating the rich legacy of our past while looking to the future, finding our own unique, chaotic, defunktional path. See you there.

*yes, that does in fact mean that our youngest company member Nick Sherbo was nine when we started, but that does not make any of us feel old.